There is a saying...."This too shall pass". But I am really wondering if and when that will happen for me. There is no chance I will ever forget or stop loving this little one I lost....but I want to stop hurting. I feel as though I am sinking and I am trying so hard to get to the surface but I just can't get there...and people have told me that is normal, and that I need to grieve. But it is so hard. I feel lost. I feel broken. My boys make me smile, my husband makes me smile, my family and friends make me smile...so I know I will be ok. I just have to feel what I feel...and that can be hard sometimes. I know God knows the bigger picture, that He has a bigger plan then what I can see, but I still wish I could just ask him why. I want to know why I never got to hold my baby. I know he or she is in a much better place but I am selfish and I want them with me, Scott and my boys. But I guess what that is faith is all about. Faith that there is a bigger picture, a bigger plan, and that God has beautiful things in store for me and my husband and my boys....and hopefully someday another little one. So for now I hold on to that, for dear life sometimes. This is from Lysa....and now I am sharing it for all of you moms and dads who have lost little ones, or who may in the future. You are not alone.
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