I have been wanting to make a blog post on a few things for the last couple of weeks but I just couldn't find the words I wanted to say....I still really can't....but I am sick of thinking about it so here is goes.
I hate the term "The grass is greener on the other side". Hate it. Am I guilty of thinking that sometimes...maybe even often. Of course. But never the less....I hate it. It comes from Satan, straight from the pit of Hell. I mean what good purpose does that saying do for anyone? I will tell you what it does. It causes you to be discontent. Unhappy. Unworthy. Ungrateful. And many more "uns". LIES LIES LIES people! LIES LIES LIES Jenn! See here is the thing. I have a great life! I have an amazing life. I am so very very blessed. A healthy family, a husband and two boys who are my whole world, a job I love, a warm home, and amazing family and friends. So WHY do I still think....well maybe if I had this then my life would be a little better....or if I could just go on that vacation then everything would be a little better.....maybe if I had a newer car, bigger house, another baby, more money, look that that overly starved airbrushed model who never has any fun....I mean seriously the list could go on. But at the same time I look at how blessed I am. How can those two things exist at once. Its ridiculous. The grass is greener on the other side. They have a bigger house, newer car, better body, a vacation....man they are lucky. Guess what....they have problems too. They think someone else's grass is greener too! Surprise! Have you ever just looked out your window at the cars driving by or the houses surrounding you and thought what their story is? Well they have a story with the good the bad and the ugly....just like you. No matter how green their grass is. Life has its ups and downs. Life has blessing and life has pain. So what is the point of focusing on what you don't have? What is the point of looking at others and thinking man if I only had what they had....well do you want their problems too? I bet if you knew what "the greener grass people" are going through...or have been through maybe their grass would look a little less green to you. Maybe you would even judge them. Funny how one moment we covet...then we get a little more information and then we judge. Here is another fact....maybe you know someone who seems to have "perfectly green lush grass" they have never had a "weed". Guess what. THEY ARE LYING. To everyone and maybe even to themselves. I get no one wants to air their dirty laundry and that is ok. I wouldn't. But if you think for one minute anyone lives a perfect life you are doing them an injustice as well as yourself. That is nothing but a breeding ground for greed, coveting, lust. Now let me be clear...I do not think there is anything wrong with wanting bigger better things for your life. A very wise friend once told me when you are feeling like everything is falling apart focus only on the blessings in your life. It's great to work for bigger better things. To dream. But that doesn't mean you have to lose focus on the blessings you are currently have. Work hard. Go after your dreams. But be content. Relish in the blessings you have. Because no matter how green someone's grass looks....they are looking at someone else's lawn too. And that's just not a good way to live. Which brings me to my next point....pain. (Yes I know not the greatest transition) Here we are in the dead of winter and I don't know about everyone else but I feel like I have been picked up and dropped right in the middle of a Robert Frost poem. There is so much pain around me. Everyday I am learning about someone I know going through terrible pain. Cancer is popping up everywhere...family members, friends, KIDS IN MY SCHOOL. Divorces. Deaths. Depression. Job loss. Home loss. Broken families. Suicide attempts. It's coming from all angles. Death, hate, death, hate. So many people I know are hurting. It is heart breaking. And here is the thing that bothers me. A lot of people use the coping mechanism of "well it could be worse". Yes. Absolutely. It could always be worse. BUT that doesn't mean what you are going through sucks any less. I feel like people either submerge themselves in their pain (grass is always greener right?) or they feel they cannot feel their pain because "it could always be worse". I am just as guilty. I remember when I had my miscarriage a few year back I would tell myself...well it could be worse...I could have had a baby and the baby could have died. In my mind yes that would be a whole lot worse. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't have felt the pain I felt. I do not like the idea of a "scale of pain". Yes. It could be worse. But its ok that you are upset, mad, sad with your pain. If you try to suppress your pain by comparing it to someone else's pain or something you imagine could be more worse you are not going to get through it. You have to feel and process your own pain. Accept what you are going through and face it head on. You are right. It may not be a worse case scenario. But it is still a scenario. You are entitled to feel pain. Even if its not as bad as it could be. Pain is pain. And when you are in it, trying to justify it by comparing it to someone else is not going to help. In fact it may make you resentful subconsciously. You bury it because you feel bad that you are even considering being upset about your situation when you know about someone else who has it worse. It festers. And there is a flip side to this....you could be dealing with whatever it is you are dealing with and think....oh look at everyone else being all happy. If they only knew what I am going through. Well that's not fair either. They DON'T know. And it is not their fault that they don't know. It's not their fault. That will fester too. It is unhealthy. Again. I am so guilty of all of these things and I am not proud of it. So this post is a lot of me writing to me. Do I think it's wrong to have the mind set of "it could be worse"? Absolutely not. It could be worse. A lot worse. But give yourself a break. Because your pain matters too. And give everyone else a break. They may not understand what you are going through but they have pain too. This brings me back to my very wise friend. "When you are going through tough times, count the blessings in your life. Literally. Count your husband, your kids, your health". Feel your pain. Be grateful its not "worse". But feel it. And at the same time count those blessings. Literally. Even if the only thing you can come up with is the blessing of waking up and taking a breath each day. It's a blessing. Stop worrying about everyone else's grass. Whether it is greener or it is weedier (yes I know that is not a word). You have a problem with your lawn? You have a problem with the tint of green your grass has? Get out the hose...go by some fertilizer...and take care of your own grass. Because in the end......it's your grass you have to live with. Count your blessings. Count every single one. Feel your pain. No matter how small you think it is. Feel it, process it, learn from it. Don't compare yourself. Be blessed. And take care of your own grass.
